The blessed month of Ramadan is about to come to its end. I am very sad to be honest. This is the month where, in a literal context, Allah SWT offered us a huge sale for pahala and open the doors of heavens for us. Also this is the month where the cunning devils, syaitan, gets locked up, unable to persuade mankind to stray away from the right path, all in the power of Allah SWT. Subhanallah!

Since Ramadan is really a precious month, my mother has unofficially enforced this new "rule" that in our household: to gather as a family to just openly discuss about stuffs including religions and relationships.

So a few days ago was our third "gathering". As I said earlier, Ramadhan is about to bid goodbye and we all shared our opinions on what we've learned or achieved or gained or lost so far for 23 days of fasting. Each of my siblings and my mother has different opinions, surely, and some of the answers are:

"It makes me realise that whatever Ibadah I did during the month of fasting, I can surely do it daily. No excuses."

"It's not just about refraining yourself from eating, drinking etc. It also tests your patience. It tests your inner and mental strength. It tells you that sometimes life can be so hard you couldn't see a way out of this sticky mess, but for those who believes in Allah and keep his/her taqwa in check, there's a reward waiting for you."

"It humbles me and it put me to a waking state of mind that every single second is priceless and you shouldn't waste any of it. Make use of each second you have to build a prosperous life on Earth and a  guarantee for the afterlife. It makes me realise that some people out there have little to nothing to break their fast with or to sahur with so I have and always have to be grateful."

These different answers, they baffled and amazes me and it got me thinking, do I feel the same way? Has Ramadan changed me to become a better person? If it did have, I will have to be strong to keep it that way. That's why, I think, it's really important for a family to sit down together and just talk ––– on religious matters or whatever. To be able to see different perspectives from different people, it just makes you sit back and re evaluate yourself. It lets you reflect on yourself.

Some people misunderstand the concept of self-reflection. Some would go and say "what have I achieved today?" or "how much money have I made today so that I can spend more on clothes/food/games/accessories/gadgets/etc?" or "how many people have appreciated my work and efforts today?" or even "how do people perceive my choice of fashion style? Is it up to their liking?".

Mind you that this type of questions that you coin to be a "self-reflection period after a long day" is, truthfully and blatantly speaking, not self-reflection. Self-reflection isn't about you! It isn't about how much you have gained from people, rather it's about how much you have contribute to the community.

"Have I thanked people today?" and "how many people have I helped today?" and "did I lose my temper on anyone today, and if I did, did I say sorry?" and "have I gone back on my words today?" and "how much time I have spent solely to praise and please God today?" are the kinds of correct self-reflections.

Correct and effective self-reflections should humble you, it should make you want to strive harder to please Allah SWT and help the community as much as you can. It should make you desire to become a better person. Not just want but desire.

Here's some questions you can ask yourself when you want to do some self-reflection: